WEAR SUNSCREEN

 You are not as fat as you think" 

Body image issues are all too common in our society .If you are self conscious about your weight let it be because you want to change and not because society has bullied you into hating your extra weight . Its your skin you have to live it in make sure that you are in love with every inch of it but just like you can modify your car ,your phone or your house to make yourself more comfortable its OK to do so with your body.

Do not read beauty magazine they will only make u feel ugly.

Learn to take compliments and forget the insults 
It will take a lot of experience with self doubt and criticism from others to finally arrive at the conclusion that the opinion of others are just that, their opinions . 98% of the time the negative things that a person has to say is just a reflection of their own reality  that you don't need to be a part of . People will always have something to say its OK to ignore them . When u figure out how let me know. 

FLOSS

Maybe you'll marry maybe you won't.... 
Always remember that your parents,your aunt, your boss, your pastor all had their chance to live their lives and they did so based on what their heart desired therefore don't let anybody make decisions about your life . Tell your grand aunt at the family reunion that you won't have kids or your mom that you don't want to marry yet . Also love isn't a once in a life time opportunity  love comes and goes and if you live the life you want you will always find it . Or Not whatever floats your boat . 

STRETCH

Drink water , why do people hate drinking water so much? Its bland, its tasteless,  it makes you pee too much horse dead and cow fat. At the end of the day you aren't feeding soda and juice to your plants and pets so why should you be drinking them? 


Take naps , if you are one of those "I can't sleep in the day time" people then that's fine but if not and you find it difficult to pull an all dayer then nap , in your car , at your desk, in the lounge  or on the weekends . Why do you think babies are so happy all the time? 

Do yoga . Trust me yoga is NOT 'just' stretching . The feeling that comes with working towards  your balance and finding it  must be nice (for those who have found it)  but the journey to that place is not only physically beneficial but it is most enlightening. Don't knock it till you try it , who knows it might jist be the answer you were looking for. 

Travel . Go somewhere ; next door, next parish, small islands,  big continents . Doesn't matter where just GO!!! I bet you'll love it !!!

inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

FOR MORE FOLLLOW : https://www.instagram.com/ellasguidetosurvival/ AND https://www.facebook.com/Ellas-GUIDE-to-Survival-164165047266952/

MY BUSINESS, YOUR BUSINESS OR OUR BUSINESS?

I grew up in a Jamaica where cars would stop to allow children and elderly persons to cross the road , where when a man slaps a school girl in her face at a bus stop  men came from every where (even jumping out of bus windows) to help her, a Jamaica where you are sure that if somebody tried to break into your house at LEAST one neighbor would see. I can remember all the stand up comedians saying that if TWO Jamaicans were on the plan the 9/11 crash wouldn't have happened . But it is with great sorrow that I am now able to say that Jamaica is no more . 

The changes came about for many reasons ; people began to resent the watchful eyes of the old lady next door or find it tiresome to socialize with neighbors . We began to hide in supermarket isles to avoid saying hello to an old classmate and no longer found it necessary to smile with and greet a passing stranger. In some cases it got dangerous to stop and help a 'stranded' person on the roadside and 9 times out of 10 this old man isn't needy its just a scam.

But what we didn't realize is in an effort to protect our privacy and even though we have to think of our safety we were killing our sense of community.  We have created a society of detached , "I'm not getting involved"  onlookers and for me I'm terrified of living in a society like that. 

When did we stop caring about our children to the point where an anonymous phone call that can save a child's life has become tedious? When did we become the people who stand aside and watch a child be murdered? People are getting attacked in public areas and while there are several videos of the incident there is no attempts at helping.


I know we all have a drive to preserve ourselves and the bystander effect is very real but at the same time we have to consider that if it were u being attacked you would want somebody to intervene,  you would want somebody to assist your child if they were in danger . And i cant help but think that criminals have become so bold because they know they no longer have to worry about the victim getting help , its as easy as if they did it on a lonely street late at night.  We cannot become so consumed with self that we lose our humanity.  

We need to look out for each other! Every little effort made to heal our broken sense of community is beneficial.  We can start by simply  relearning the lost art  of giving old people and pregnant ladies a seat on the bus. We can start by being kind $20 will not change your life but you can help somebody get closer to what might be their only meal of the day.  I am aware that some situations might be too dangerous for you to physically intervene but at least raise an alarm , call the police ,by all means be safe but be helpful. 

And so what if miss Marva knows your business when you can depend on her to start putting out the fire when you accidentally left the iron plugged in. 

NO MEANS NO

I read a news report somewhere sometime ago that gave an account of a 13 year old boy raping his 10 year old neighbour . When he was asked why he did it he replied because he watched it on TV . He was then asked if she told him she didn't like it or ask him to stop , he replied "yes , but girls can't say no , they don't always know what they want" .

This lead me to wonder what kind of environment has this little boy been living in ? Who taught him that females can't say no? Where did he learn to objectify women ? The answer ? He learnt it from you and me , from watching TV and from the music he listens. 

We live in a society where females are treated like things , sexual things . Where our bodies are used to entertain and advertise . Females are objectified to the extent where random men on the street feel like they have some ownership of your body . Which leads to men always TELLING , almost commanding women to smile . Which may seem harmless but he doesn't tell other men that may seem unpleasant to smile it falls under the same umbrella of actions as catcalling .

It is quite common for men to pssst after females or comment on their bodies in What can only be referred to as a derogatory manner . And if the female doesn't respond she is met with verbal and even physical abuse .

It is the opinion of many that if a woman is skimply clad then she is opening up herself for this type of abuse . Meanwhile men can walk around in whatever they see fit for their mood and the weather but God forbid a woman wears shorts and a tank top on a summer day it some how means she was asking for it .

It is puzzling how her attitude , her clothes , the events that she attends translates to a man having open access to abuse her and of course she was asking for it right ?

We as a society NEED to teach our boys that no means no . That women aren't  things that they are to control and use . We must teach our women that she is entitled to her own body , she doesn't have to feel guilty for liking tube tops and wearing a mini skirt doesn't give anyone the right to abuse her .

The next time you as a man open your mouth to 'complement' a woman on her body , to command her to smile or adjust her attitude , to psst after a woman until she is obviously uncomfortable , remember your sister, your mother , your aunts and your girlfriend and remember that  she is walking home with her keys spiked between her fingers . After passing a group of catcallers she looks back a million times to check if she is safe . Remember that she is left to bear the weight of the sexual desire of every man she comes in contact with and be resolved to to do that to any woman .

OUT OF MANY, ONE PEOPLE.

 Jamaicans have always been a set of very culturally diverse people with different beliefs, ideas and socially acceptable habits being governed by social status, geographic location and good old family values. Despite this divide, there was an island wide understanding and expectations of certain things; like getting dressed up on Sunday evenings, cooking soup on Saturday and sorrel at Christmas time. For many years Jamaicans still managed to maintain a sort of wide spread Jamaican culture. However the past few years have brought with it a shift in the Jamaican culture which has resulted in not just further diversification of our culture but created a clear cut divide in what is considered socially acceptable.

Somewhere in Jamaica people are blissfully unaware that a cultural paradigm exists in which people pay money to run 5Ks in large groups, many of which are motivated by the possibility of 100 likes on instagram for their picture at the finish line.

But this is because they are country people right?? Fair enough. But what of the many socially acceptable cultures in Kingston alone where mere street signs control what people view as cultural norms? How is it that some kingstonians are content with bleaching their skin and teenage boys taking Viagra; all the while looking forward to the next big event that will be held in the gully. While this is not only frowned upon it is also ridiculed by their neighbours who are working feverishly to make ‘The Real Housewives of New Kingston’ the next big thing.

The major contributor to our clearly divided social culture is the increase in telecommunications in Jamaica. Prior to 1999 the Jamaican telecommunications sector was dominated by Cable and wireless until the market was opened in 2000.This saw the introduction of other companies such as Digicel that have successfully operated in the island for 10 years. When discussing the effects of this liberation on our country we tend to talk about the positive changes without linking these changes to societal issues. It has changed the way Jamaicans communicate, do business and access information. By 2011,163,314 of the more than 8000,000 households in the country had internet access. 

This number has significantly increased over the years and internet access in 2014 is a basic necessity for many Jamaicans. It goes without question that this has caused drastic changes to the Jamaican culture. As those of us who spend hours searching the net for celebrity and world news, adapting the language of social media and watching TV shows  have accepted a more Americanized set of norms and values, whereas the people left behind in this technological era cannot understand why your 8 year old child needs an ipad. This influx of new information has changed the way our music sounds,the way we socialize with each other, the way we prepare our food and even the way we look. 

 The culture of convenience portrayed by the internet and cable TV has led to pre-kneaded dumplins and pre cooked rice and peas for some while others still wake up early on a Sunday to grater their coconut for their rice and peas. Our females have adopted new make-up techniques which I must admit are as equally as impressive as they are scary, while at the same time liberating our, ‘natural sisters’.

We have become so dependent on our mobile phones and other social sites for communication that physical social gatherings are becoming rarer every day. And the social gatherings that have managed to survive this have turned into people standing around on their cell phones tweeting about how much fun they are having tweeting from their current location. This is vastly different from when people not only used to know their neighbours but they used to interact more on a social level.

The economy has also lent a hand in increasing the rate and quantity of cultural changes experienced by the Jamaican people. The current economical status of the country has not only led to a further divide in the classes but has also almost eliminated the middle class, as the cost of living is increasing daily but the salaries and job opportunities aren't showing the same growth. This has affected the purchasing power of the Jamaican people meaning that, for the middle class large family gatherings during the holidays have to be reduced to immediate family members.

 The slide in the US dollar has led to many discussions among my peers about the cancellation of their annual  parent funded summer vacations to the United States. The lack of government funding in the education system has shifted the country back to focusing on farming and trade schools  instead of graduating and going to university as was the goal of many parents in 2005. With the current finical situation many parents are unable to adequately fund a college education. This will affect the diversification of culture as the culture brought to Kingston by people from all over the island will decrease as will the culture these people take back to their own communities.

Jamaica has witnessed many cultural changes from slavery to independence to modern society and we have much more in store as we have not reached our maximum potential in the telecommunications sector and our economy is constantly changing. In this time of changing culture is will do us well to remember that despite your finical status, how you were socialized and the extent of your internet exposure it is always socially acceptable to pin the flag of Jamaica to the trunk of your car during Olympics.

THE COLOUR PURPLE

                      

It is not by coincidence that this entry is written at the start of black history month. It is sad that in the year 2014 there is still need to address the issue of racism. It is even more shocking that the racism being addressed exist within people of the same race.

I know I don’t understand it either, black people are being racist against yes you guessed it other black people.

Growing up I always thought being racist was something white people did to other people that weren’t white. It wasn’t until a 4^th form history class and an episode of Tyra Banks that I realized that black people are racist against other black people in that they think the ‘lighter’ shades of black somehow make them better than the darker shades.

                                 

We know the root of this is coming from the plantations where the “light skins” were  made house slaves or shop keepers which placed them higher on the social ladder. It appears that we haven’t realized that we are no longer on the plantations and we do not need to get our social validation from being the ones that looked most like the masters.

It is upsetting to think that after all these years and after all that our ancestors have put into fighting for not only our freedom but for equality we are the ones that will be working to regress , working to break down everything that was fought for , that we will be the ones supplying the ammunition for this racist war .  this has gotten so out of hand that people nonchalantly include #teamlightskin in their tweets. Its frustrating to watch people become so out of touch with common sense that they find no harm in doing to each other what was done to their own people for years.

                                 

The whole issue of #teamlightskin and #teamdarkskin  has become so common place that it is obvious that people don’t understand what they are actually doing. If black people are degrading other black people because they are ‘blacker’ than them then what do we expect from other races ? if we who were born black into a black family with black friends and inherited the black history find it in ourselves to degrade the colour are we really allowed to look at the white man in dismay when he does the exact same thing? Its interesting to see that the same people putting down the black colour and thinking that they are superior dont realise that to other races they are still simply a black person and will be treated as such. 

                           

We are all too quick to judge the people that bleach but we do not even realize that their reason might have nothing to do with approval from the white man , they just want to fit in with the #lightskins. I was talking to my friend’s 10 year old niece when she asked me “ my aunty bleach her face , why do they do that? Because them too black and its ugly? “ is this the message we want to send to our dark skinned beauties? That if we are too black we are ugly? If our hair is too nappy we aren’t cute? That only light skin girls can do certain things and its socially acceptable just because they aren’t that black?

                                

We might find these practices harmless and just for entertainment but what we don’t see is the damage that is being done when we make comments like “ only brown girls should wear that colour” and I am sure we have all heard the famous “ you are pretty for a black girl” as if it is the general understanding that black girls aren’t pretty and you are a rare occurrence.

                              

It is the year 2014 and my only advice to us as a race is to leave the colour of your skin alone. Stop making it define who you are and dictating what you deserve. If you are light skinned you go ahead and take your selfies  with your cute little straight noses and if you are dark skinned you go ahead and take you selfies with you cute little flat noses . And may both dark skinned and light skinned be able to use their umbrellas in the sun without backlash from society.

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH !!!!!

On a lighter note look out for  the A-Team’s A-Dream

WANDERLUST

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! (Better late than never) I hope all your resolutions are in full swing and the year is off to a good stat. 

Judging from the topic of this post u can already tell it will be about travel and u are probably expecting me to talk about an exotic island, the food in Italy or the culture in Africa, but like many Jamaicans you will be surprised to know of the exotic places, amazing food and rich culture available right here in our little island. 

 

Many Jamaicans can tell u about trips they have taken around the world but they haven’t been to many of the parishes in Jamaica. When the opportunity for a vacation arises they automatically think of going to the US or Europe, many to go shopping and some in an effort to experience different cultures not realizing that they can find all that right here in Jamaica.

International travel is good but we should not forget about our local get a ways. For a lot of Jamaicans they have never been further than their neighboring parish, they have never been to 90% of the local attractions and if presented with the idea of travel they would automatically think of an overseas location. It often takes a tourist to make us locals aware of some of the places in Jamaica.

Being Jamaican one might think that it doesn’t make sense to vacation in Jamaica as we all have the same sun, sand and sea, the same people and the same culture but contrary to popular beliefs this isn’t the case.  Within a single parish the variety of sights and sounds are so great imagine what you will discover if u take a trip to the other side of the island where the people there have accents you’ve never heard and practices you have never seen. It might not be as drastic as a trip through Australia but it is refreshing to see how much one small island has to offer. From a tropical rainy get away in a villa in Portland to a sun filled beach day in Westmoreland, Jamaica can meet all your vacation needs.

It is sad that it often takes international investors to create attractions which will be visited by international travelers in a world completely outside the scope of an average Jamaican. We are sitting on a rock filled with endless possibilities.  It only takes a little vision and some support to create places like Great Huts in Portland. We also tend to stick to the few popular places for example if u want to eat out in st Elizabeth you go to jakes or little ochi, we should instead try to broaden our vision and try new places and long for new experiences how else will u end up eating an entire meal with utensils made from coconut shells? 

 We put so much effort into brand Jamaica and being a tourist destination and we the people almost never experience any of it and we are content knowing only our little corner of the island . Sometimes it is good to take the road less traveled and discover what our island really has to offer. 

“Sometimes I wonder why birds chose to live in one place when they could fly anywhere …and then I ask myself the same question” .

THE ART OF DECEPTION

 
By now you would have guessed that this entry will be about make up. Personally I am not a fan of make up. I have never owned more than a lip gloss and never understood it being a necessity. However for some females it is a way of life. Even though I don't use make up a lot of my acquaintances do I therefore have a little knowledge about the makeup culture. It has been a normal part of our society but in recent times the users seem to have taken it a step too far. 
 

The reason many people have for using makeup is generally the same, they have bumps and spots that they would rather hide. Which i guess is understandable , but from a medical stand point if you are having an issue with the health of your skin how will putting on 3-4 layers of chemicals help the situation?  It seems to be a cycle for some people , they wear the makeup to hide bumps the makeup causes more breakouts so they end up wearing more make up to hide these new bumps and so on. maybe a different solution should be considered. 

Most females wear a reasonable amount of makeup to compliment the features they already have when going out to help them feel more confident and comfortable. We all do that we shave our eyebrows and cream our hair in an effort to make ourselves look better.
 

 The problem arises when females use make up to create entirely new features. 
 


I have seen too many makeup tutorials that shows a person putting on makeup for over an hour , using the makeup to change every feature that can be tampered with. How low does yourself esteem have to be for you to preffer to change everything about the way you look before you go out in public? and how much different is it from the people who bleach their skins because they are not happy with the way they look?
 
The makeup is normally accompanied by hair extensions and some females even wear coloured contacts. There is no other word for this than fake. How can you trust a person that lies to you about the way they look. What else about them is fake? These are the same females who will get on social networks and make fun of people in fake brands etc. How can you look down on somebody for fake brands when your entire appearance is a made up fake drawing ?





There is also the issue of the people who just seem to dip their face in the makeup bag with no idea of what they are doing, leaving us all to suffer through this sight. Also the makeup doesn't seem to hold up for very long and as soon as these females reach their destination they have started to sweat off/ under the makeup leaving them with a white shiny appearance which defeats the purpose of the makeup in the 1st place. They have to be running to the bathroom every 5 minutes to keep looking presentable.

Men have been complaining about this new makeup era and seem to not be in support of the practice. However based on my observations if there is a social gathering the men present seem to be more inclined to approach the females with the 7 layers of makeup and 9 packs of fake hair. Yet they come on social networks to complain. Women would do be drawing on faces if it did not get them the attention they wanted from men.  I often wonder about how they reveal their actual identity to the persons they get into relationships with. that must be an interesting conversation "no i don't actually have any eyebrows i just drew those for the party last night".


Maybe we are heading towards the age of the fake, where in public are perfectly put together females with the perfect hair and body they go home and peel off their mask each day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping up appearances , but they to keep up the appearance you actually have instead of creating one each time you go out that way if you go missing people around you will actually know who to look for . http://www.whydontyoutrythis.com/2013/10/37-seconds-to-see-why-we-have-an-absolutely-ridiculous-standard-of-beauty.html for your viewing pleasures.